It is a bit shocking/stressful/awesome/sad that i have another 7 months here. I guess its best to not think about it too much and just enjoy it.
I am pretty excited right now though, in 16 days I take off for Christmas break. The rough plan is England with Nelly, then Ireland, Scotland, Madrid. I think it will be a good break from the normal routine here.
So, as December rolls around, out come all the christmas decorations. It will be fun celebrating Christmas in a foreign country, but at the same time a part of me wishes I could go home for just a few days and celebrate it with my family.

The weather these days reminds me of santa cruz. Sunny, crisp, but still a bit cold. I like it, but it will be nice when Spring time arrives.

I think I am going to try and change families after Christmas break. This one isnt working out too well for me. I think this whole experience will be much more enjoyable if I was no longer with this particular family.

I dont really have much else to say.

livin the life.. right?
----------------
Now playing: Oh No Oh My - Be A Star
via FoxyTunes

nada mucho!

Well, I guess it's about time for another blog.

Nothing all that interesting has occurred in the last week.

A usual school day:

7:30- Host dad comes in "ARRIBA! AHORA!"
7:35- Pretend to wake up, then go back to sleep as soon as he leaves for work.
7:50- Wake up, eat cereal and leave for school
8:15- School starts
2:35- School ends
2:40- Come home
3:00- Lunch
4:00- Go to the beach, walk around town, or stay at home online
8:00- Take either bus or train to San Fernando for Soccer
11:30- Take bus home
12:00- Eat Dinner/Shower
12:30/1- Sleep

The weekends are much less consistent, but they usually consist of going to the beach until 9. Then, we all go home for dinner and meet up around 10 and try to decide what we want to do.


I'm slowly starting to adjust living here, and embracing/appreciate it.
Hopefully, its all downhill from here. The first month was definitely the worse.
I'm starting to understand more and more spanish, which is making things a little bit easier.

Alright, off to go eat cocoa puffs, then go to the beach!

P.S. happy halloween.

Schiermonnikoog

i look down where we are
i walk down the rivers
i walk upon the mountains
i swam in the seas
i flew in the sky
at the end i was with two feet on the ground
still i have my DREAMS

- Richard Grezel

oh, life.. with its wonderful twists of fate.

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today”

- James Dean

kinda random, but I had this crazy dream a few nights ago about how I was in a plane and the engines died or something and I jumped out of the plane. I had a parachute and it was a lot of fun. But somewhat scary seeing a plane go down right next to me.

Basically, I want to try skydiving now.

Enfermo

Been failing at blogging lately.
yesterday: Didn't feel so hot. I think I had heat stroke, because i felt pretty much exactly the same as I did when I got heat stroke once before over in San Jose at a Soccer Training thing. Wasn't so fun. Some guys who were camping on the beach invited me over to their tents and I sat eating bread and drinking Kas (kinda like sprite) watching an amazing sunset. I started feeling a little better and decided to head home.
I ate dinner, then laid in bed for a couple hours listening to music. I went to bed, and woke up in the middle of the night with my back hurting so incredibly much. I told my host mom and she gave me some powder that you put in water. It tasted disgusting, but I think it is working a little bit.

i miss...

my bed:

singing and running
free.

Can't say that I'm right here

But I can't say that I'm gone

a dark comedy

thunder
lightning
rain
bus
you, more rain
corte ingles
walk
talk
new friend
go
convince
bus
cobblestone
coffee shop
chocolate
camera
smiles
ancient holy
racing mind
lost, together
cafe..
2
model
beauty
talk
back
cafe..
mas
orange
walk
bus
house
spanish
pan
mcdonalds
beach
friends
7
2
2
talk
walk
sad
happy
release
park
sand
miss
hug
walk
pizza
talk
relations
walk
home
run
walls
3
walk
underground
water
anger
sadness
happiness

a bittersweet day in cadiz.

The Edge..

there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.

~hunter s. thompson

futbol
mcdonlads
mcflurry
late
walk
friend
different bus
staring at you in the reflection of the window
missing bus stop.. on purpose
taking the long way home
walking through cobblestone streets
music in one ear and the sounds of this town in the other
oceanside sidewalks
the aroma of waterfront gardens
leaves
late night fisherman
empty beaches
appreciation
increasing love for a beautiful city by the sea
happiness?

Life in Cadiz

Now that I have been living in Cadiz for a few days, it has gotten a little easier.
School starts at 8:15, and I wake up at 7:30 make myself some breakfast and walk 5 min to school.
I have made a few friends at school, all of the kids are nice and friendly.
My teachers are also pretty accommodating. My fellow classmates know a little english and they help me understand what is going on.
I'm still adjusting to the 9 hour time difference, and the way people live here.
My soccer practice is from 8:30 to 11. Then I have to take a bus back home. Then, at 11:30 I have dinner. Most people go to sleep around 12.
The communication aspect is very difficult and stressful. Slowly I am understanding more and more.

I really havent had much time to do much yet. I havent even pulled out my camera yet.

Alright, I'm off to the beach with a couple other exchange students.

מגדל בבל

CADIZ!

Spain at last!
Everything has been pretty hectic since I arrived in Barcelona.
We had a 2 day Orientation with all the other kids studying abroad. That was a lot of fun, and all the kids were very nice.
Today I flew with about 10 or so kids to Jerez, which is the nearest airport to Cadiz.
There, host families picked up their new children.
Martin, Mary, and I all went in the same car with Mary's host father.
He drove us all to Cadiz, and dropped us off at the appropriate houses.
I was greeted by my host mom's boy friend, Pepe. He helped me carry my bags up into the 3rd floor of the apartment building I am in. My host mom is very friendly, but her son seems a bit shy. Lunch was later in the day around 2, and it consisted of homemade frys and some meet. It was delicious.
Dinner was a bit lighter, and server around 10. Eggs and potatoes also very good.
There is wireless internet in my house, so hopefully i can update this blog frequently.

This country is amazing. I love it. The language... eh, i need to start learning it.

....

17 SEP 09 - THURSDAY
US AIRWAYS 706 SPCL CLASS EQUIP-321
LV: SAN FRANCISCO 830A NONSTOP MILES- 2521 CONFIRMED
AR: PHILADELPHIA 448P ELAPSED TIME- 5:18
FOOD TO PURCHASE

US AIRWAYS 742 SPCL CLASS EQUIP-BOEING 767 JET
LV: PHILADELPHIA 630P NONSTOP MILES- 3926 CONFIRMED
AR: BARCELONA 835A ELAPSED TIME- 8:05 ARVL DATE-18 SEP
DINNER-SNACK

misplaced.

Back.
I have been back in santa cruz since thursday..
Everyday has felt like a whirlpool of events since then.
I feel the urgency to leave as quickly as i can.
I have enjoyed seeing my friends again. Strangly, everybody is exactly how I imagined them.
I feel like such a spectator looking in on everything, all the drama and such.
Thursday..

Sleep: Last night, I finally got some sleep for the first time in a week.
Sick: I am still stuffed up, and sore throat. I hope I get better before i leave.
Stress: I have no idea what I am supposed to bring with me.
my list so far:
Camera
Pants
shorts
shirt


One of these days.. i need to level out.

i want to go find some beautiful place to get lost.
hm, I hear spain is nice this time of the year :)

gotta get back to packing.. :/


*edit
Looking over this post, I realized how scattered I am..
ugh, brain! work! please, dont die on me now!

take it easy...

First with your hands, then with your mouth
A downpour of sweat, damp cotton clouds
I was a fool, you were my friend
We made it happen

You took off your clothes, slept on the light
You stood there so brave, you used to be shy
Each feature improved, each movement refines
And eyes like a showroom

Now they are spreading out the blankets on beach
That weatherman is a liar
He said, "It would be raining"
But it's clear and blue as far as I can see

Left by the lamp, right next to the bed
A cartoon cat pad, she scratched with a pen
Everything is as it has always been
This never happened

Don't take it too bad, it's nothing you did
It's just once something dies you can't make it live
You're a beautiful boy, you're a sweet little kid
But I am a woman

So I laid back down, wrapped myself up in the sheet
And I must have looked like a ghost
Because something frightened me
And since then I've been so good at vanishing

Now I do as I please and I lie through my teeth
Someone might get hurt but it won't be me
She probably feel cheap but I just feel free
And a little bit empty

No, it isn't so hard to get close to me
There will be no arguments, we will always agree
And I will try and be kind when I ask you to leave
We will both take it easy

But if you stay too long inside my memory
I will trap you in a song tied to a
Melody
And I will keep you there so you can't bother me

transition

Well, Summer is just about over for me.
I am still in cordova and it has been pretty fun, but at the same time it feels so temporary.
I leave in a few days to head south, I'm sad that this summer is over, but at the same time, I am ready to move on to something new.
I really do not do well staying in one place for long.
As I hear about Santa Cruz and all that is involved with it, I am becoming more and more glad that I do not have to return there.






I know that the summer is over
I can't wait til the weather gets colder
Every night will freeze over
It's just another sleepless night

After all the things we've been through
Tell me, how many friends must we lose?

Speak the words that were never spoken
Windows to my heart, they still stay broken
So run me over with your car
I'll probably feel better than you do
Just one more ride around
Bodies scraping on the ground
I promise I won't make a sound

I know that the summer is over,
I can't wait til the weather gets colder
Every night will freeze over..

I'm dying but I'm still getting older
It's just another sleepless night
I know it's hard starting over
Especially when everything's frozen over
In September
I will swim out to sea
Cause I want to make my whole body turn dark blue
And then I think I will feel like you

After all the things I put you through,
It's just another sleepless night.

out of gas

Out of gas
Out of road
Out of car
I don't know how I'm going to go and
I had a drink the other day
Opinions were like kittens
I was giving them away and
I had a drink the other day
I had a lot to say
And I said
You will come down soon too
You will come down too soon

You will come down soon too
You will come down, you'll come down, come down

You will come down soon too
You will come down too soon

You will come down soon too
Soon enough, you will come down , come down

Out of gas
Out of road
Out of car
I don't know how I'm going to go and
I had a drink the other day
Opinions were like kittens
I was giving them away and
I had a drink the other day
I had a lot to say
And I said
You will come down soon too
You will come down too soon

You will come down soon too
Soon enough, you will come down , come down

You will come down soon too
You will come down too soon

You'll come down, come down

You'll come down, come down







Some things just never change, others are in a constant state of fluctuation.
This town, its growing on me. At the same time, I feel more and more distant.
I'm figuring shit out though which is always good.

hectic

Well, the summer presses on.
One month left to this bipolar summer.
It has been the best and worst summer I have ever had.

Well, to pick up where I left off before...

We went back out fishing for a couple weeks, it did not produce much abundance, but it was better than sitting around in town. During that time, there were many halibut and king salmon caught. On 4th of July, we had a great firework war and made quite a ruckus. We finally decided to return to town and wait for more fish to come. However, it has been almost two weeks and no signs of more fish. It has left many captains and crews disappointed, but for me I have enjoyed the excessive amounts of town time. I have seen many people I havent seen since I was a young child and time to go on adventures I am usually to busy with fishing for.
Also, having my dirt bike has allowed me to be more mobile with my adventures. Recently, I have gone out to childs glacier, Sheridan glacier, and McKinley lake. There are two cabins near Mckinley lake. One by the road, and another right on the lake. We stayed at the cabin near the road, then the next night we decided to go for the cabin on the lake. Unfortunately, there were people already staying in that cabin. So, being the mountain men that we are, we decided to build our own! My brother found a large log resting about a mathom (5'8) off the ground. Then, laid sticks on it and covered that with moss. Making a lean too type spot. It worked great until the rain came down followed by a typhoon, which stirred up the wind and flushed rain upon us while we tried to sleep. It was quite the night.

In addition to these adventures, I have been learning a lot this summer. I always feel like I learn so much more during the summer then during the winter when I am actually in school. There are a lot of smart people out there, who love to share their knowledge, but so few people seek it out.

Admist all of these amazing adventures and enjoyment, there has been difficulties. Emotionally, this summer has been quite a roller coaster. Usually, I am out on the boat, safe. Aside from cabin fever and loneliness, I am emotionally safe and when I was in town I didnt get out much. This summer however, I have been getting out quite a bit more, which leads to uncertainty and dealing with other people. Those who know me, know that I do not do well around lots of people. I claim to be a sociaphobic, which I hide very well. :)

Alright, well I am finished writing for now. I will try to add on later.

An Honest Mistake...

People
They don't mean a thing to you
They move right through you
Just like your breath
But sometimes
I still think of you
And I just wanted to
Just wanted you to know
My old friend...
I swear I never meant for this
I never meant...

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake

Sometimes
I forget I'm still awake
I fuck up and say these things out loud

My old friend...
I sweat I never meant for this
I never meant...

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake

Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
Don't look at me that way
It was an honest mistake
An honest mistake

what is it, but a dream?

Well, I have failed to write on here for quite a while so I guess I should do a short update.

We went out fishing for a couple weeks, it was slow, extremely slow. Our net was messed up, in that the lead line was too far behind the corkline. So, we returned to Cordova to repair it. We expected it to be much more difficult than it was. However, While putting the net back on the trailer to take to the boat, the pin holding the boom snapped. Merkel, was standing underneath it, and if there wasnt a pulley at the top of the boom it would have crushed him. The other end of the boom almost swung and hit my dad. It was all inches from being disastrously fatal. A couple days later, the wind was hollowing and the rain was pouring down. We had the stove going on the boat and the wind hit the stack in such a way that it erupted in flames. Luckily, Merk was on board when it happened, He emptied 3 fire exstinguishers on it, but it still wouldn't go out. He brought the deck hose in, and that finally killed it. The whole cabin got coated with the fire extinguisher powder. Unfortunately my new camera was out and it got a pretty thick layer over it. :( Still trying to get it out of all the cracks.
The boat my brother is working on, the Rubicon also has been having its fair share of troubles. They went on the grid to change the zincs and while on it, they settled weird and cracked a hole, then after settiling again, they sat on the shoe wrong and made 3 more holes. They have splashzone over them now, and they drove to Valdez to get the boat pulled out of the water completely and re-glassed.

Yesterday, I broke up with my girlfriend Chrissy. Alaska has a long history of killing relationships for many people. Fisherman have lost many wifes, girlfriends, and such.

Tomorrow, I am taking the ferry to Valdez to buy a motorcycle. I am pretty excited for it. A couple days ago, I got my motorcycle license. It should be a fun toy for Cordova. :)

Well, better get some sleep. I am more likely to respond to a letter than email,
box 879
cordova ak 99574

alaska

this place, I have yet to decide how i feel about it. I feel very out of place in this town.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breaking, it's early morn
The taxi's waiting, he's blowin' his horn already
I'm so lonesome, I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a Jetplane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now they don't mean a thing

Everyplace I go I'll think of you
Every song I sing I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a Jetplane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, let me kiss you
Then close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave you alone
About the times that I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a Jetplane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

I'm leaving on a Jetplane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

(And I'm)
Leaving on a Jetplane
(And I'm)
Leaving on a Jetplane
(And I'm)
Leaving on a Jetplane
...

P.S. Great America

I went to great America with a couple of my friends.
It was a good way to finish off this year.

leaving.

well, the time has come. in 2 hours, I will head to San Jose to fly to Cordova. I should get to cordova around 5. My emotions: they are so mixed. I love alaska, it is amazing, beautiful. It is my escape, but at the same time, it tears me from this place. I should be used to this transition by now, but it just gets harder and harder every year.
My head hurts, I have said all my goodbyes and now, i vanish. Everyone will go on with their lives, and I know if I am gone long enough, the space they had for me will be filled with some other person. That is just life. The first thing that comes to mind, the whole verizon thing. 10 friends you can call, you have you're top 10 friends there basically. If one of those people fall of the radar screen, sure you keep them on that list for awhile, but one of these days, someone else will take your place.
ok, that was a bad analogy, but thats basically how I am feeling. I am exhausted, I need to sleep for a couple hours before I sit in airports all day.

P.S. I like this song right now. "This is not the end" by the Bravery

Thinking.

After looking over various blogs for people who have traveled to Spain, I decided that I would begin my own. So far, it looks like I am going through with this. A little about what I am doing: In September, I will leave for Spain. I have no been told where exactly I will be, but it will be in Spain. I will stay with a host family and go to school at a regular Spanish speaking school. This part frightens me, because my spanish is not excellent and I have a hard time comprehending and writing it. The part I am looking forward to is getting to play on a soccer team there.
This is the company I am doing it through, IFX. They will find me a team, and make sure I have a spot on it. Once I go, I must stay there and I cannot come home until mid-June. I know I am going to miss Santa Cruz, but part of me knows that after a month I will become so wrapped up in the culture and my new life I will soon forget this place.
I will try to keep an ongoing blog throughout the year for anyone who wonders what I am up to.


Alright, now for some current news.
I have about 2 months left of school at Monte Vista. I am currenty playing on the Mid-County Orcas. I have played with them for about 5-6 years, and it will be weird leaving them. We are a decent team. Yesterday we had a game and won 2-0.
Thats about it, I'll try to keep this a weekly blog.

I leave you with this song.

~Nate